“Are they not coming because of me?” “Whose feelings have I hurt today?” “Will they return, and if not, am I the cause of why this church is “failing?” (from Jay’s Blog)

To make matters worse, even in the Christian community there are celebrities. America tends to notice and reward those who are “on top” of their game; no matter what the game is or how they made it to “the top.” Society is good at lifting up those it views as successful, beautiful and blessed of God.It is difficult to be a pastor who works diligently week after week to bring God’s word to God’s people and then comes to church and views the empty seats which, it is believed, reflects on his or her leadership and/or pastoral abilities. Most pastors won’t walk into sanctuaries busting at the seams with people. Instead, she or he might walk into the church and wonder where all the people are. The questions persist; Are they sick? Did they go on a trip? Did they just sleep in because they got home late the night before? Are they angry with what I said last week about [fill in the blank]? Jay is honest about his feelings in this post and reflects what, I believe, all pastors of ‘ordinary churches’ feel from time to time.

Of course we already know the problem. We are judged (whether in reality or perception) by our numbers. Our self-image is directly related to how many people are coming to the church each week. Yet, deep within we know this is simply wrong. The pull of society’s blessings is strong. Yet, it is not the blessings of society that we are called to seek. Instead, we yearn to please God.

There is a danger when we are driven to “only or mainly seek meaning in the drive for popular confirmation, fame, status, power, income, possession, acceptance, and approval by ‘important people who look successful in society.’” (Dr. Susan Muto) While it is important to constantly bring our call before God to make sure we are still following God’s will for our lives (as Jay mentions), we cannot allow culture’s expectations of growth, numbers, glitz, perfection, statistics, success or meaning to be our agenda or drive our existence. God calls us to be faithful to Him, not culture’s standards or expectations. The only way we can find our balance is spending time in the presence of God in silence, solitude, contemplation, meditation and prayer. It is there that we will hear that inner voice of confirmation or correction.Here are some questions that I struggle with in light of these issues: What if God has called me to fail? (or at least be a failure in my eyes, or culture’s) What if God has called me to serve a church that, for whatever reason, will never see the numbers or statistics that I desire? What if God has called me to never be known outside of my congregation and my name will only be known to the people I serve? What if my call is one of simplicity and faithfulness? What if I am never ’successful’ in culture’s eyes (or in the eyes of my conference, district, or colleagues)?

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